“What perfumes do men like?” is one of the most common questions I am asked, followed closely by “What perfumes will make women fall for me?” For both I have the same reply: each to his or her own, and instead of bothering to entice others with our perfume – a task of rather dubious merits – why not seduce ourselves instead?
Selecting perfume, however, can be tremendously complicated. The market is full of new launches, each making lofty promises, but with many smelling almost identical. There are also considerations of brand, packaging and marketing that influence us more than we are willing to admit, even to the point of obscuring our real preferences. And then there is the problem of the sheer volume of choices.
So how should one proceed, especially if perfume is a new hobby? First, before setting out on a fragrance exploration, write down your favorite scents, bottled or natural, to chart your tastes. My list would include iris, jasmine, wet soil after the rain, old libraries, my cat’s paws, autumnal bonfires and Ukrainian church incense with its unique blend of sweet balsams and myrrh. Reflecting on this, I realize it’s not at all surprising that florals, woods and chypres (blends of mosses and woods with floral nuances) are my favorite perfume families. Among the fragrances I’d take on a desert island are Serge Lutens Bois de Violette, Chanel No 19, Guerlain Après L’Ondée, 10 Corso Como, Armani Privé Bois d’Encens, Frédéric Malle Carnal Flower.
Next, take your list to a specialist boutique where the staff are knowledgeable about perfumery, classical and modern. Aedes de Venustas in New York, Nose in Paris, or Les Senteurs or Roja Dove’s Haute Parfumerie at Harrods in London are well-known among perfume lovers. These places are oases of serenity and beautiful aromas. The Les Senteurs, Aedes and Luckyscent websites also offer sampling services and plenty of advice.
The only important criterion for choosing a perfume is whether it makes you happy. For this reason, don’t rely on the opinion of others, however well-intentioned. What do you feel when you wear a perfume? Does it leave a trace in your memory? The right scents will provoke a wave of delight that will not lessen on subsequent encounters. It’s true that certain aromas, like dry wines and sharp cheeses, are an acquired taste and might not reveal their allure all at once, but bottled fragrances should provoke an emotional response.
How a perfume will tell its story largely depends on one’s skin. So, even if using paper blotters to compare several contenders, make the final decision by wearing a single fragrance for a whole day. Some blends might have bright top notes and mellow dry downs (Jo Malone Orange Blossom), while others save all the drama till the end (Caron Nuit de Noël.)
These days my choice for seducing myself has become Maison Martin Margiela Lazy Sunday Morning. With a flourish of iris and lily of the valley decorating its transparent accord of musk and patchouli, it makes me feel as if I’m wrapped in cashmere.
How do you select perfume? What fragrance would like to receive for the holidays?
Photography by Bois de Jasmin, Serge Lutens De Profundis, another favorite fragrance these days
Extra reading: more tips and suggestions in The Art of Seducing Yourself : How to Select Perfume
25 Comments
Shoshao: Thank you for this always interesting perfume topic. I’m all for seducing myself, also with perfume 😉 this will provide others with information about me as well. Will check out the lazy sunday morning, the name alkne is relaxing.
For me it is today terre de hermes. All the best to you. July 8, 2024 at 8:48am
OnWinsofSaffron: So many fragrances, so many choices! I most often blind-buy scents, however not in an impulse but after having read a lot about the scents in question. Yet I would not recommend it to someone nee to perfumes.
I would like to receive a new version from the Cartier Rivières series. There are three fragrances to date: Insouciance; Allégresse; Luxuriance. The names sound somewhat chichi, don‘t be put off! I find these modern Cartier scents are delightful: they smell fresh and chic; they don‘t cost an arm; you can mix and match the three. They are uplifting as a Cologne yet have a bit more heft.
I‘d love a fourth version! July 8, 2024 at 9:03am
MmkinPA: I remember taking my teenage son to Sephora (we don’t have perfume boutiques here) when he wanted to wear a scent and I refused to buy him those body sprays that are ubiquitous in middle school. We sniffed a variety of fragrances on blotters and to my surprise, he gravitated to the “warm spicy” category vs the fresher colognes I expected. His first bottle was a small one of Armani Code Profumo. He now has a range of scents but I was glad we did the exercise, I probably would have gone with something very different if buying for him. Me, on the other hand – I have sampled thousands and can wear something different every day of the year, but ambers are my favorite so perhaps his nose was influenced by how I tend to smell (his dad doesn’t wear any scent.)? July 8, 2024 at 9:23am
Nenda Inasa Fadhilah: De Profundis is my favorite perfume but I reserve it for funerals.
Currently I’m wearing Chanel no 19 EDT and Imaginary Authors Soft Lawn for these hot summer days July 8, 2024 at 9:24am
OnWingsofSaffron: Strangely enough, I‘ve never smelled De Profundis! What do you like about it? July 8, 2024 at 1:05pm
Sandra: A fragrance to seduce myself…hmm..
I would say Shalimar, and all her flankers too July 8, 2024 at 9:34am
Gabriela: Noting beats Carnal Flower or vintage Samsara. And for a happy scent, Tryst by Hiram Green. So lovely. July 8, 2024 at 10:15am
Martha: De Profundis is my favorite perfume. I wish they still sold it in the bell jars, although t he e spray is convenient. Thank you for the photo and this wonderful blog. July 8, 2024 at 11:07am
Hera: I love the idea of seducing myself!!
I love iris, rose, tuberose and vanilla scents the most. My favourites these days are SMN Iris, The merchant of Venice Rosa Moceniga and Tuberosa that I discovered while in Italy. July 8, 2024 at 1:51pm
Alityke: Self seduction, what a wonderful way to describe wearing a fragrance for yourself. It describes perfectly what I wore today. Alvarez Gomez Eau de Colonia Eau d’Orange Concentrada. The brightest mouthwatering citrus & orange blossom cologne. I’ve had a smile from ear to ear since I sprayed it at lunchtime July 8, 2024 at 2:08pm
Klaas: The timing of your post is uncanny, Victoria. Today, I rediscovered an old favorite: Maître Parfumeur & Gantiers La Route du Vetiver. The second I put my nose to my wrist I smile from ear to ear, this fragrance truly resonates with me. It smells grassy, green, dry, herbaceous and has a mineral, sea-salty crunch to it. Glorious! July 8, 2024 at 4:16pm
Marianne: Good morning, and thank you for this theme, which brings a sense of smiling confidence. Last weekend I headed for Chanel Cristalle in the three versions that are available here. All sparkle with greenery; the EdT full of light and radiance, the Verte version more rounded, and the EDP rich and polished. Each have their unique “DNA” and it’s hard to choose a favourite. Even so one will become my new signature!
Thank you for your wonderful site Victoria. Your words and images bring grace and beauty 💐 July 8, 2024 at 7:42pm
Bregje: Your cat’s paws😁, love that and i can relate. I always wonder how come their mouths smell so bad but their fur so wonderful( like fresh laundry dried in the sun )
I hope everyone will one day learn the lesson that pleasing others in order to be liked generally leads to heartache( when there is no Self-searching in the pleasing, it is fine😉)So I wholeheartedly agree with the theme.
Thanks for the tips
It’s been a while since I smelled lazy sunday but I remember liking it. I’ve been enjoying jour d’hermes again this summer. July 8, 2024 at 8:32pm
Princesd Tonk: Jour d’Hermes is lovely.
I agree on the delicious fresh laundry scent of my cats but if breath is bad it can only be cured by a dental visit at the vet. Gums should be pink and breath fresh unless there is a big health problem that needs attention! July 8, 2024 at 9:00pm
Princess Tonk: Of late I turned back to some Frederic Malle scents and ended up loving Une Fleur de Cassie on me more than ever. Of course the beauty of early June weather in the northeastern US was perfect for it and now it is humid and heavy.
But this is prime time for many scents that aren’t worn the rest of the year so I will keep the seduction going with Kiss Me Tender and Bombay Bling! July 8, 2024 at 8:47pm
Princesd Tonm: Jour d’Hermes is lovely.
I agree on the delicious fresh laundry scent of my cats but if breath is bad it can only be cured by a dental visit at the vet. Gums should be pink and breath fresh unless there is a big health problem that needs attention! July 8, 2024 at 8:58pm
Tourmaline: Dear Victoria and Readers,
These days, I choose perfumes by consulting my list of fragrances that I would like to try or own, based on fragrance notes, perfume reviews and recommendations from friends. My most recent purchase was Chanel No 19 Poudre, which is a like, not a love. (Peter, who used to comment in these pages, and with whom I still correspond almost daily, counts it among his favourites.) It will be perfect on warmer days.
Prior to that, I bought a bottle of Parfum Sacré, which I like very much, although it is not identical to the scent from the miniature bottle that I bought a few years ago, which is heavenly. I bought my new bottle directly from Caron (as, for some reason, my eBay purchase of a bottle couldn’t be delivered to Australia). Caron sent a gift of a 50ml bottle of Aimez-Moi Comme Je Suis deodorant spray, which I confess I like even more than the version of Parfum Sacré that I was sent! That just goes to show, yet again, that a fragrance can be for any gender, as it was intended for men.
I can’t believe that I have still never sampled Bois de Violette, so that should be next on my list, followed Misia and then La Myrrh.
I had my breast cancer surgery last Friday, was home the next day and am recovering well. The amazing thing is that I have required no pain killer at all, either following the surgery or at home! I’ll see my surgeon next Wednesday for histology results.
All the best to everybody.
With kind regards,
Tourmaline July 8, 2024 at 9:31pm
Princess Tonk: Best regards for you and making your way through your breast surgery so well. July 9, 2024 at 9:57am
Tourmaline: Hi Princess Tonk,
Thank you so much for your kindness.
With kind regards,
Tourmaline July 9, 2024 at 10:36pm
Aurora: Dear Tourmaline,
So good to hear from you, so glad the surgery was a success, take good care of yourself.
Best wishes,
Aurora July 11, 2024 at 11:05am
Tourmaline: Dear Aurora,
Thank you so much for your good wishes.
With kind regards,
Tourmaline July 11, 2024 at 11:13pm
Victoria: Sending you a big hug! I hope that you recover quickly and that these health issues are in the past. Keeping fingers crossed for a good meeting with your doctor. July 13, 2024 at 7:25am
Tourmaline: Dear Victoria,
Thanks for the hug and your good wishes.
I’ll keep you posted!
With kind regards,
Tourmaline July 13, 2024 at 8:13am
Katherine Devine: Victoria, I bought Lazy Sunday Morning only yesterday – and for the express purpose of pleasing myself and only myself – because of your prior review. It’s perfect, and I’m so glad you made me aware of it. Thank you! July 8, 2024 at 9:52pm
Aire: Thank you for reminding me of this necessity!
Many years have passed (and hundreds of fragrances dismissed through those years) and I am now firmly entranced with fragrances from the house of Hermes, with very few exceptions. Ironically, that’s where I began this crazy perfume journey (Hiris, in 1999), so it seems fitting that I have returned home! Seduction is an initial feeling of attraction and comfort that
persists. An internal awareness (not a reasoning!) of your specific past, present, and future emerge and it just all makes sense. Thanks again for a fabulous topic! July 15, 2024 at 1:33pm